By Sandy M. Tyler

This week, most of Atlanta’s Housewives are back from their Vegas adventures, and we assume they got to take a plane this time.

The episode opens with Porsha at home pretending to unpack for the cameras with the help of her husband Kordell, who “finds” the EPT pregnancy test that the other housewives bought for her on their trip. Maybe Porsha didn’t take the test while she was out of town because she didn’t know how. When she sees that it takes 2 minutes for the test to show results, she thinks she has to pee on the test stick for 2 minutes. Is it just me, or is Porsha regularly channeling a young Jessica Simpson? How does this girl cross the street?

The pregnancy test turns out to be negative, which may be a good thing because despite Porsha’s desire to have twin yam babies, she’s afraid that Kordell is not on the same page about it all. We learn a short time later that what Kordell is really unsure about is whether or not Porsha is fully committed having children, since he expects her to give up her career for full-time motherhood. This after a discussion where Kordell tells Porsha that he doesn’t control her, but he’s a man, so he’s in control.

Anyone else hear the gigantic record scratch when Kordell brought up Porsha’s career? Which career would that be? She may help with fundraising for her grandfather’s foundation, but I think it’s pretty safe to assume that Porsha isn’t really left responsible for anything other than finding a pretty dress to wear and inviting some friends. This is the same girl who talked about her days filled with ladies lunches in her first appearance this season. You’d think “Fundraising Trophy Wife” would be exactly what Kordell wants to promote his image, but it seems that he wants Porsha in the home, burning the biscuits with the babies, or he wants no babies at all.

Elsewhere in Atlanta, Kandi and her manager Don Juan visit the construction site for her new office and studio space. It is surprising that someone as successful as Kandi hasn’t had a separate space for her businesses before now, but perhaps a growing empire and, hopefully, a soon to be growing family are making this step necessary. Kandi worries about all of the financial and time commitments she’s made as she finishes her home renovation and prepares for a housewarming party.

We find Nene in New York for a press tour to promote her show The New Normal. It’s fun to watch her behind the scenes at Live with Kelly and Michael and rushing off to see Hoda and Kathy Lee at the Today show. Nene talks about how much work it is to appear on TV and look great. I’m sure it’s a lot of rushing around and pressure, but if I had a glam-squad to fix my hair and moisturize my legs, I think I could get through it. Later Nene is rushing to not be late for an interview with Wendy Williams, her fellow Diva Giant, and my personal favorite. How you doin’, Miss Wendy?

Back in Atlanta, Peter is promoting men’s health awareness to “Atlanta’s Social Elite” with a black-tie cocktail party that includes the other housewives, their husbands, Cynthia’s ex-husband, Leon, and Kenya’s ex-boyfriend, Walter. I’m not sure from the show how exactly the event promoted men’s health awareness. Was it a fundraiser? Was there a 5K we missed somehow? Were the men in attendance having testosterone replacement therapy behind the scenes? Did Atlanta’s Social Elite ever show up?

At least Phaedra could try to use the event to promote her upcoming exercise video, and at lease Kenya, knowing that Walter would be attending, was sure to make an entrance in a great dress and with Jamal Anderson, former Atlanta Falcons player, as her cute date (Maybe after his mansion was foreclosed on, he needed the Bravo paycheck).

Kenya used her brief time at the party to diss as many people as possible, throwing shade at Walter whenever he was near, and telling the other Housewives about her upcoming costume party to celebrate iconic black women in film by telling them exactly how she expects them to dress. Cynthia is supposed to go as Diana Ross, Kandi gets to be Tina Turner from What’s Love Got to Do With It, and Kenya thinks Porsha would be perfect as Halle Berry in Baps. And with that little slam, Kenya begins her exit from the party.  Oddly, she catches Phaedra on the way out, taking a few minutes to make up with her nemesis. Kenya even asks Phaedra to attend her costume party as Eartha Kitt, a perfect match. Maybe Phaedra can go as Eartha Kitt channeling Maggie from Cat on a Hot Tin Roof.

In the meantime, Walter is in the corner gossiping with the other househusbands about Kenya and their lack of a sex life. Rather than blaming Low T, he tells the guys that Kenya was just too old for him. He likes his women like he likes his rims: 22s, 24s and 26s. Well Walter, we no longer feel sorry for you; now you’re just gross.

Cynthia and Kenya go shopping for costumes for Kenya’s costume gala even though Kenya is still in the process of planning it. Cynthia and Kenya rehash Walter’s appearance at Peter’s party with Kenya saying she doesn’t even want to hear his name again. But Cynthia tells Kenya that Walter was gossiping about her at the party, telling the guys he didn’t have sex with Kenya because he wasn’t into her. Kenya tells her side of the story, which is that Walter might be gay (You gotta give the girl props for always giving better than she gets!). She then asks Cynthia to fix her up with some nice guys. Maybe Cynthia knows a guy she wants to punish?

It’s the night of Kandi’s housewarming party where she has a main house for living and a separate house for the party. Cynthia and Peter didn’t get the memo and go to the house that’s meant for living in, but Kandi conveniently shows up to give a grand tour of Riley’s red-accented bedroom suite and her gilt master bedroom, complete with a fireplace.

The other housewives and guests appear at the party with gifts in hand, and Walter, at this point seeming like a norovirus, arrives with a date after supposedly getting an invitation from Todd to attend.  Walter, ever the camera-whore, promptly ignores his date while he goes to hang with the other husbands. Kordell gets on my good side for once, pointing out to Walter that showing up to retaliate with a date at the party is just a waste of his energy, and Phaedra gives Walter the cold shoulder and some well expressed judgment of her own.

The other housewives prepare for the impending storm, and when Kenya arrives unaware of Walter’s presence, you can feel the electric anticipation in the air. Kandi gives Kenya the heads-up that Walter is in attendance, and Kenya can’t get out of the place fast enough describing Walter as a “stalker.”  It would be uncomfortable to have the other housewives continue to wave your ex in your face, but it’s kind of a karmic payback for faking a reality show boyfriend in the first-place, don’t you think?

Joe Earle

Joe Earle is Editor-at-Large. He has more than 30-years of experience with daily newspapers, including the Atlanta Journal-Constitution and was Managing Editor of Reporter Newspapers.