TimmyDaddy: Birthday Party Evolution

By Tim Sullivan

When I was growing up, birthdays were super low-key. With so many siblings around to sing “Happy Birthday” we usually felt plenty feted. I did have one party though when I turned 6. The guest list was my four best friends from Mrs. Gilmartin’s noon to 3 p.m. kindergarten class. That was the theme too: Four Friends Over. I have no idea what we did, but I’m certain we had my mother’s famous brownies because that was birthday standard. Then we took a picture. And then, we went to school. And if a support group exists for people whose birthday parties were held before school I need to know about it.

My brother, Bill, took matters into his own hands when he turned 8. Bill waited on the front steps as the first kid was dropped off, present in hand. The kid’s mom waved from the street to our mother: “What time should I pick him up?” Despite a look from our Mom, Bill explained that he was throwing himself a party and she shouldn’t worry about it. Soon enough, there were 10 additional children in the house looking to be entertained.

When Mom’s ire was raised to certain levels she would say she was so mad she could spit nickels and this incident more than qualified. She quickly instructed Marty, one of our older brothers, to take all of the kids to the baseball field. When they returned, famous brownies were served and kids were sent home smiling.  Mom cooled off along with the hastily made batch, but informed Bill he would be returning all of his ill-gotten presents. A few nickels were spit for sure, but I have to think she liked his moxie.

When Kristen and I entered the birthday party circuit as parents, we marveled at the extravagant events people would throw for their children. We’d assess the totality of the spread and how haggard the parents looked. How much does it cost to rent out the entire jumpy castle place? Or to hire an adult dressed like a princess to read stories? How much does a traveling clown cost?  Of course now we realize this is routine stuff and, unfortunately, kids expect it. Two-hour home movies document these events, so I guess it’s better if they don’t suck.

We resisted this modern day insanity until this year. The topic of Elliott’s 6^th birthday party came up a month ago, and I jokingly suggested we have a dance party. Elliott is pretty shy, so when he concurred we were knocked off balance.  Our response was something along the lines of, “heck yeah, we’re going to have a dance party, buddy!”  So, we Gangnam Styled-up an Evite for 30 of the fun kids and went hog wild at Party City. We put together a playlist. We cleared out the garage, bought a disco ball and enough cardboard to fabricate a dance floor. We ordered seven pizzas and a cake the size of a coffee table. We hired a professional breakdancer to “crash” the party. Does Katy Perry do birthday parties, I wondered?  We need Katy Perry!

Maybe it was Elliott’s moxie that drove us to join the legions of fragile, parental souls on the birthday party hamster wheel. Or maybe the party was as much for us as it was for him (I know that’s what you all have been thinking).  Either way, it was a big hit. Elliott was indeed too shy to dance in front of his friends, but he had a great time and we boogied after everyone left. The adults preferred my brownies (Mom’s recipe) to the cake and the highlight of the party was when the kids ran through the sprinkler in the yard. I think that will be next year’s theme.

Tim Sullivan grew up in a large family in the Northeast and now lives with his small family in Oakhurst. He can be reached at tim@sullivanfinerugs.com.