By Tim Sullivan
People are shocked when I tell them that my wife Kristen is actually older than me. Shocked! Granted, this is untrue by a couple years but mostly it is because she’s been using this Rodan and Fields skincare regimen and looks amazing. But when she said she was thinking of joining the team and selling the products, too, I winced a little. There’s a short but embarrassing chapter from my college days that has to do with skin care products and multi-level marketing. So let’s just keep this between you and me, okay?
I had a high school friend named Fred who was a year ahead of me at Boston College. So when I and another friend from high school, Arun, enrolled at BC we were lucky to have Fred around to take us to things like off-campus parties that typically excluded freshman nerds. Fred was gregarious and popular and had a way of elevating the most mundane aspects of college life into something spectacular. ‘You gotta see this! Look how neatly Dave folds his laundry. It’s incredible!’
So when Fred started selling a product called NU SKIN and thought that it would be a great opportunity for me and Arun as well, we agreed to listen. Fred bubbled over with the same excitement he had the first time he took me to Nick’s Beef and Beer House. He went on and on about how fantastic the products were. I marveled that Fred indulged in such thorough skin care. Who knew? My regimen at the time was a bar of Irish Spring and a tube of Clearasil.
My understanding of how multi-level marketing (pyramid schemes) worked was even less sophisticated. Essentially, Fred would be making a percentage of whatever Arun and I sold. In turn, we could bring our own “associates” on board as well. Seemed kind of scammy, but the thought of making money over winter break without shoveling snow was enticing, so Arun and I agreed to purchase the starter kits.
I probably should have thought it through some more. I practiced my spiel figuring I could start with neighbors. “Hello, Mrs. Kornfeld. Again, I’m really sorry my friend parked his car in your pachysandra bed Saturday night. Now, let’s talk about those pesky crow’s feet around your eyes.” I just wasn’t sure it was a good fit for me. That and my buddies Schulzie and Huge ripped me mercilessly for it. I was too uncomfortable to make an actual sales call so I didn’t even sell a stick of lip balm.
Kristen, however, is faring very well with Rodan and Fields. For starters, it’s a waaay better name than NU SKIN, but unlike 19-year-old me, she actually has a confident command of the product line. And in the age of the internet, it seems a whole lot less shady too. She’ll post something to Facebook and her phone starts buzzing with messages from potential customers. If I had that kind of technology maybe Mrs. Kornfeld would have blown her retirement fund on moisturizer? So far Kristen is wisely reinvesting her profits into brunch items to keep the customers happy throughout the pitch.
I don’t know how much they attribute to NU SKIN but both Arun and Fred have gone on to do very well. I think Arun is one of those guys that starts businesses and then sells them for lots of money so he can travel the world and compete in triathlons. Fred has his own law firm that may or may not be entitled to 20 cents of every dollar I’ve ever made. Hopefully Kristen will make up for the 25 years I’ve squandered by not building my own pyramid. She’s identified the male gender as a largely untapped market demographic so I’m back in the business as her Chief Product Tester! This is fortunate because with all of the biscotti I’ve eaten this past month, I’ll need some good skin care products.
Tim Sullivan grew up in a large family in the Northeast and now lives with his small family in Oakhurst. He can be reached at tim@sullivanfinerugs.com.
