Listen, either you’ve stepped on the conveyor belt to Pickleball inevitability already or you will soon enough. It’s a force greater than all of us.
Any park worth a darn has a Pickleball court now, and you can buy a sleeve of balls at the grocery store. Pickleball is grabbing ratings on network television featuring Hall of Fame tennis players as competitors and every wedding weekend is now required to feature a Pickleball event.
I saw my daughter’s friend wearing a t-shirt that said, “There’s no crying in Pickleball,” which is more evidence that this funny-sounding fad/sport has inter-generational staying power, too.
Where do you fall on the Pickleball continuum? I’m in the toddler stage of Pickleball participation and I wondered if I should hold off writing about it until I was further along. But I think there is merit in documenting what the landscape looks like from this vantage point because, from what I can tell, it is compelling and weird and coming soon to a converted court near you.
Kristen and I are about a month shy of nineteen years of marriage and from what I understand, a lot of people find themselves in the “Pickleball curious” phase right around this time in their lives. I could parse out the fact that she was a bit more curious than me. but this isn’t a therapy session.
Anyway, I think accessibility is the key. It’s an easier game for the average athlete to play than tennis and certainly less time-consuming than golf. Throw in something of a social aspect and it’s like the game has its own set of pheromones.
Now that I’ve played twice and learned the rules, I’ve ascended to “Pickleball novice” – wavering between feeling hapless when I can’t keep the ball inbounds to gifted when I hit a winner. The latter feeling is the hook – we all enjoy a few moments of Pickleball glory when we impress ourselves so much that we’re certain that we have discovered our true talent.
Understandably, it’s a quick leap to “Pickleball enthusiast.” Here. you are studying racket reviews and bugging people all over the spectrum for a game. You are learning your tendencies, strengths, and weaknesses. You know the various courts in your area and plan your days around your Pickleball habit. Should anyone ask you would reply, “Yeah, I’m pretty good.”
Soon enough you are a “Pickleball evangelist.” This is more intense and you are, indeed, pretty good. At this point, you have joined a Pickleball league and can’t help but work the word Pickleball into every conversation you have. You are reaching out to anyone who will listen and inviting them to join you, even offering to teach them! Like a pyramid scheme, if you aren’t growing your network, you are dying. Pickleball has become a common theme of your dreams. but you are trying not to admit that.
The next phase is rather unfortunate, really. The “Pickleball lunatic” has played so much that inviting non-Pickleballers to a game is pointless. The pathetic level of competition would only be aggravating. They shout at people on neighboring courts whose ball has rolled into their court – “Ball! You have to yell Ball! Jeez-ahh!” They hang around at local courts, seeking a quality contest from strangers and usually leave disappointed that everyone else just sucks. They’re stuck in this frustrated state until they get older and mobility wanes, dropping their skill level down a notch. But this is also where they will find their people.
Finally, there is the “Pickleball Elite.” These folks were playing Pickleball before you hipsters drove it to peak saturation. They have pinpoint accuracy, cold-blooded strategies, and they place zero importance on fun. This is purely about winning. Winning is survival and these people are facing an alternative they’d rather not. They are going to vanquish their opponents and head off to bingo. They intend to win that as well.