While Atlanta has developed a reputation for being a bastion of LGBTQ equality, Rome, Georgia, despite its picturesque Southern charm, gives no outward indication of the same. Yet, Traveling Gypsies and Kava Den, one of the city’s most beloved small businesses, has become a haven for LGBTQ locals. The hour and fifteen-minute drive from Atlanta to Rome can feel like stepping back in time. There are no Pride flags lining the streets or store windows downtown, but inside the Kava Den, as it’s called for short, is a utopia of progressiveness in the most unlikely place.

“It’s like it’s an energy force,” Sami Gravedoni said, describing the gravitational pull the two-and-a-half-year-old business she shares with her husband Jim Gravedoni has on the local community that congregates at Kava Den long after last call for its signature Kava and Kratom elixirs.

Married for 18 years, the Gravedonis relocated to Rome from central Florida in 2022 after retiring from successful careers in the moving and storage industries. The unique name for their thriving business comes from Sami’s early childhood experiences and their collective desire as straight allies to create a space where all people feel welcome.

“I moved all over the place, continuously. Not outside of Florida, but still, every time I turned around and would get comfortable, we’d move,” Sami said. They eventually roamed to Rome and settled in, creating a coffee shop that felt like home.

“We didn’t want to name it Kava Bar because we didn’t want to be just another bar, and we got to thinking people used to say the den. The den was like the family room, where everybody hangs out,” she said.

Hayden Lane, 31, an out transgender man and Rome native, was one of Kava Den’s early customers. He is now one of two “Kavatenders,” both LGBTQ, employed at the Gravedoni business.

“It’s very hard to find employers in places like this, and where I work is the most accepting,” said Lane, who is one of the most visible trans people in Rome’s LGBTQ community.

Lane says he has chosen to be out about his gender identity in Rome despite any potential backlash.

“If someone asked me if I’m part of the LGBTQ community, I absolutely would say yes,” he said. “And I tell people, too, that don’t even know that I’m a trans male, hoping that if they don’t understand, they want to understand. How can you make these places grow if you’re not open about who you are? We’re not those monsters in the closet that you think we are.”

Lane told Georgia Voice that the impact of having a space like the Kava Den in Rome is “huge.”

“I can tell people to come see me, and you can be safe. That’s my biggest thing. The LGBTQ community in Rome is so large, but a lot of people don’t know where to go,” he said.

Love Thy Neighbor

Deleta Christie, 43, is also a Kavatender. A pansexual mother of four children, two of whom are LGBTQ, Christie first entered the Kava Den three weeks after it opened. She quickly became a cheerleader for the inclusive space to anyone willing to listen while simultaneously encouraging the Gravedonis to hire her.

“I think most people feel like they’re part of the family within the first couple of visits, and that’s definitely something we strive for,” Christie said. “We want everyone, regardless of their gender or how they identify sexually, we want them to feel like they are part of the family, and I think that’s something that’s not heard of, especially in a bar atmosphere. You’re not going to find that if you go to most of the bars in Rome,” she said.

“We have a diverse group here, and they all congregate really well together,” Sami said.

While the Kava Den is not isolated from the hatred outside its doors, some of which is amplified by its elected Congresswoman, Republican Marjorie Taylor Greene, Sami says she and her husband are quick to interrupt any conversation that threatens the Zen inside its space.

“If it starts to get heated, we immediately [shut it down],” Sami said. “But if some people just want to know, want to learn, and everybody’s open to answering those questions for people [the dialogue is encouraged]. We’ve asked questions about things that we don’t understand.”

“The Bible says love thy neighbor as you love yourself,” Jim said. “I don’t care what my neighbor looks like. I love him. If you can’t take care of another human being and respect that person the way you respect yourself, then you might need to talk to someone.”

For the Kavatenders, Jim’s use of the Leviticus 19:18 scripture in support of queer people is a welcome change, given how conservatives have weaponized passages from Leviticus against LGBTQ people, many of whom are also people of faith. It’s a fact that Christie, who is not entirely out to her religious family, still wrestles with when she and Lane meet LGBTQ patrons at Kava Den with similar traumas.

“No matter where anybody goes, you should feel safe,” Lane said. “People ask me why I do this, and I’m like, so I can walk out the door and not fear being shot, or somebody else can walk out that door and not be in fear. I will fight tooth and nail for that until the day I die, whether Rome becomes inclusive or not, I will fight for that,” he said defiantly.

Lane’s visibility and advocacy as a trans person in Rome deeply resonates with Christie, who is parenting a trans child.

“Knowing that he can be an example for other trans kids, and even my child — I can tell them to come talk to Hayden,” Christie said. “He’s great, and I think it’s amazing that he’s able to be open about his journey. I love him. That’s my little bro.”

Lane and Christie acknowledge the “community within a community” the Gravedonis have created and revel in being able to show up as their authentic selves to work, which hasn’t always been an option.

“I know they’re my bosses, but I consider them family, too,” Christie said. “They’re amazing. And I can’t say that about all of my past bosses.”

“I truly know they love me for who I am,” Lane said. “They give me the chance to be myself and have a job where I love what I do. I’ve never been accepted as much as I have from them anywhere else.”

Sami says the not-so-secret ingredient to Kava Den’s reputation among LGBTQ Romans is simple: “Getting to know somebody past their gender, past their sexual [orientation], past their political views — getting to know that person as a whole is where it’s at,” she said. “I think we’ve changed, and we’re changing them one by one here.”

Learn more about Traveling Gypsies and Kava Den at travelinggypsiesandkavaden.com.