By Brigette Flood and Sandy M. Tyler
Part of the appeal of watching the Real Housewives of Atlanta is that it’s a lot like high school – popularity contests, mean girls, glee club, friendship contracts, pregnant girls with dubious due dates and slutty cheerleaders. Just about everyone but the wallflowers are represented. It’s no Sixteen Candles, that’s for sure.
Speaking of glee club and slutty cheerleaders, this week’s episode starts with Kim “practicing” for her tour with Kandi. As usual, Kim’s more interested in how she’s going to accessorize for the show than how she’s going to perform at it. Not only does she forget the words to her song, but the only thing you can tell she’s singing is “one, two, three, four” over and over and over. Kim needs a teleprompter as much as a choreographer, not to mention more time with her voice coach. The audiences on her tour will need more of a reason to watch her than “side boob.” (And if your Atlanta stylist tells you that side boob is the new butt cleavage, it’s time to remember that butt cleavage wasn’t the best fashion statement to begin with.)
The differences in Kandi’s and Kim’s work ethic signify deeper differences in their personalities, and we also think Kim’s total lack of any real passion for what she’s doing. If she’s so interested in a performance career, shouldn’t she be inspired to practice more on her own? Instead she’s perpetually unprepared and unprofessional. You’d think the polarizing qualities between Kim and Kandi would divide them, yet they’re heading off on tour in a bus that can’t possibly be big enough to hold both personalities. Even more confusing is Kandi’s statement that, “when you have a friendship with a person, they don’t always respect the business end.” That’s an understatement – Kim wants a pink microphone while Kandi practices so hard, her wig literally flies off. Maybe one day we’ll figure out the Kim/Kandi connection. But for now, we just don’t get it.
Breaking the 1st and 2nd rules of Friendship Contract (do not talk about Friendship Contract and DO NOT talk about Friendship Contract), the Friendship Contract (FC)is back. Wedding preparations for Cynthia continue, and she takes NeNe to the Fernbank Museum to scout the location. While there, NeNe asks Cynthia if she was serious about the Friendship Contract and cops to showing it to Kim. Understandably hurt and annoyed, Cynthia underlines that the contract was a joke and was meant for NeNe’s eyes only and definitely not to fuel everyone else’s fodder. We disagree with a lot of NeNe’s opinions here: A) we think getting married under the Fernbank dinosaur is pretty cool, and B) Cynthia has obviously entered into a FC with someone who not only doesn’t share her taste but also doesn’t respect their relationship. Maybe this friendship is headed for extinction?
This scene is also interesting because it shows NeNe’s insensitivity and her ignorance when dealing with authentically quirky people. Like high school, the amount of high drama that can get created from nothing remains purely amazing. To that end, we think more coverage of the other Rules of Friendship Contracts is in order.
3rd RULE: If someone says “stop” or goes limp, taps out, the Friendship Contract is over.
4th RULE: Only two gals to a Friendship Contract.
5th RULE: One Friendship Contract at a time.
6th RULE: No shirts, no heels, no Friendship Contract.
7th RULE: Friendship Contracts will go on as long as they have to.
8th RULE: If this is your first Friendship Contract, and you’re out of middle school, you HAVE to think twice about your Friendship Contract and who you invite to it.
NeNe, who has made plenty of cutting comments about the other ladies trading on their Housewives celebrity, learns an important lesson while doing the same in her new career. If you get a TV job based on promises of big interview “gets”, you’re expected to deliver. Channel 11 gives NeNe an ambitious list of celebrities to interview, and NeNe is surprised to learn that she has to book the talent herself. Despite trying to engage her young son Brentt and his friend to help her connect with possible neighborhood celebrities and a call to Bow Wow’s Mom, this isn’t quite as easy as NeNe had hoped. However, NeNe does manage to land an interview with Jermaine Dupri, and her excited Channel 11 boss reminders her, hilariously, to remember her “listening skills”. We can’t wait to see the interview, as Bravo’s teasers for the next episode make it look like there’s not much listening to do, as Dupri offers one-word answers only.
Shereé, the struggling thespian, continues to do a lot of big spending for someone who claims her ex-husband isn’t helping to support their children and has to live on her savings. With the recent repossession of her Aston Martin, we’re guessing that charging $7,400 worth of furniture to her credit card for daughter Tierra wasn’t the best idea. (Not to mention the team of interior decorators she hired to complete the project. DIY is not in Shereé’s vocabulary.) However, Shereé does seem to delight in surprising her daughter with an apartment full of new furnishings and a house-warming party. We guess Shereé will teach Tierra about budgeting at a later date.
At the end of the episode all of the ladies get together for a “relaxing” spa day, and you could cut the tension in the room with the knives that come out almost immediately. We wouldn’t want to run into any of the Atlanta Housewives in a dark alley, but we’d be the first to pay for front row seats to the boxing tournament. And we think Phaedra and Kim would be a great first match. They trade a lot of barbs this week, though granted, few of them actually in person. It’s time to take your earrings off ladies, get you some Vaseline.
Everything comes up at the spa: Phaedra’s due date and convict husband, Big Poppa, Cynthia’s friendship contract, and even Kim’s nursing certification. Quite frankly, it’s time for some new material, and it looks like we’re going to get it when Kim and Kandi go on the road and the ladies gather in Miami for Cynthia’s bachelorette party. The Housewives are “off” next week with a series of repeats, so join us again in the new year for some more cat-fights and hopefully, some new storylines.
Poor Cindy. I think she might want to get a FC with Kandi instead. I guess Nene doesn’t understand that friends are suppose to keep secrets but maybe that is why Greg told all of hers.
Poor Cindi. I think maybe she should get a FC with Kandi instead. Maybe Nene doesn’t understand that friends are suppose to keep secrets? That might be why Greg told all of hers. I wonder if they are still friends after this? Then again Cindi should have known if you tell one housewife, you tell them all.
I THINK NE NE WILL DO AWESOME IN HER JOB SHE IS VERY BEAUTIFUL AND IS A GOOD PERSON WHO LISTENS TO OTHER FAMOUS PEOPLE WHEN THEY TALK JUST NOT PEOPLE WHO ARE NOT FAMOUS BECAUSE THEY PROBABLY AREN;T SAYING ANYTHING IMPORTANT ANYWAY AND SHE IS SMART ENOUGH TO KNOW THAT AHEAD OF TIME. I HOPE SHE GETS HER OWN SHOW I WOULD WATCH IT OR MAYBE SHE NEEDS TO DO ONE ON YOURTUBES. THAT WAY I COULD WATCH THEM WHENEVER I WANTED TO AND WOULDN’T HAVE TO TAPE THEM ALL TO WATCH THEM AGAIN AND IT GETS MESSED UP WHEN I LET PEOPLE LIKE GILL BORROW MY TAPE AND THEY DON;T RETURN IT AND I HAVE TO HAVE 2 TAPES NOW.
High school was awful times and I don’t like to think about it much. I would try to get people to sign friendship contracts like the ones they talked about in the show but people were always circling maybe or no but mostly no. Only my cousin signed maybe but I could tell she had erased the circle around no so I am not sure. But maybe things will be better now so I will try again. MRp I sent you your VHS tape and a contract. The postman says you got it because I sent it with one of those things that tells you when the person gets it and they have to sign for it. But maybe you are busy with that sudoko club you are in and you haven’t had time. But please send it soon because it would be a great christmas present. I even included return postage.