In my role as a senior placement advisor, I wear many hats, including, but not limited to: social worker, realtor, sibling, therapist, and surrogate child.
My actual role is to identify the right fit in senior living for your family member based on need, location, budget and knowledge of the communities.
After meeting with families, I often receive this question, “But how do I convince my mom to move”?
This, certainly, falls outside of my role, and is also one of the most difficult things a family has to do. I wish I had a one-size-fits-all solution, but alas.
So even though this does not fall under my job description, here is my quick and hopefully useful guide to helping your loved one get ready for their move.
Find your empathy
If you’re reading this right now in the midst of the process and rolling your eyes, I get it. Like, duh.
But put yourself in your loved ones’ place – they are losing control of their lives and their autonomy.
A mindset shift can help your approach, and I firmly believe we must lead with empathy. Or at least pretend – you’ll thank me later.
Clearly identify the issue
This sounds obvious, but lay out the full situation. You can’t solve a problem you can’t identify.
Why are you looking for senior living right now? Discuss the health and budget situation, their isolation, and long-term finances. Now you can get to work.
Join the tour
Once you’ve identified that there are issues (as you’ve likely been saying forever), going to see the wonderful array of options is helpful.
And you being there for the tours plays a much bigger role than you’d imagine – show up for this one, it will help your case in the long run.
The communities these days are NOT the nursing homes of yesteryear. There are many wonderful options in the Atlanta area, and seeing is believing.
Highlight the impact
What does your loved one enjoy doing with their time? Reading, socializing, games, sharing meals, going to lectures, and enjoying music? What will be possible in their new home?
It is likely that their next chapter in a community will afford them more freedom to enjoy all sorts of things, but the framing matters.
Decision time
It’s time for a decision. I see too many families balk at this most crucial step, choosing to push the move to some undetermined time in the future. Or, for the shoe to drop and to be forced to move in the midst of a real crisis.
Waiting to move can actually remove agency from the seniors in your life, as when the situation worsens, the options might not be as good. The favorite community might be full when you are ready.
Don’t drop the ball on the one yard line – make the choice while the situation is in a good place.
Patience
Did I mention patience is a virtue?
Best of luck navigating this with the loved one in your life – we are just a phone call away!
