You only die once (YODO)
Sunday, Oct. 25 — Cathy Cobbs here at the wheel for this week’s Sunday newsletter – a bit in my feelings, as the kids say.
☀️ Abundant sunshine today with a high of 68°
“Is it just me, or does it seem like everyone is dying all of a sudden?” I’ve gotten this question several times in the last few months, especially after the passing of entertainment icons like Dolly Parton, Richard Chamberlain, Catherine O’Hara, Hayden Panettiere, and Bob Weir (sorry, Deadheads: I was surprised to learn of his passing, as I thought he died a long time ago).
I started thinking hard about whether that question had merit, and came to the conclusion that it’s not that more people are dying; more people we care about are dying. They were the actors, politicians, musicians, or authors we marched through life with, some of whom we forgot to age, like Dolly Parton, who always looked and acted like she was in her mid-40s.
When our dad died at 79 after a long battle with Parkinson’s, the family was sad, but knew that it was time to end the suffering. Dolly? NOOOOOOOO. But they were almost exactly the same age.
Super cheery topic for our Sunday newsletter edition, but bear with me for a minute, and you’ll see that my take on the subject of death is more about finding the meaning, humor, and truth in someone’s life than it is about the end.
📰 But first, some news:
LOCAL NEWS
🗳 In midterm election-related news yesterday:
- President Donald Trump rallied in Perry with Rep. Mike Collins and gubernatorial nominee Rick Jackson.
- Sen. Jon Ossoff campaigned in Atlanta with former Transportation Secretary Pete Buttigieg.
- Democratic gubernatorial nominee Keisha Lance Bottoms stumped in Savannah.
- Trump announced that Audi will build its first U.S. plant in middle Georgia, a $4 billion investment expected to create about 4,500 jobs.
⛽ Gov. Brian Kemp extended Georgia’s gas tax suspension through Nov. 30, keeping the 33.3-cent-per-gallon levy off the pump for Thanksgiving travel. Prior suspensions cost the state about $200 million a month.
🎢 Six Flags announced it will install seat belts on Goliath and other roller coasters after a man fell to his death earlier this month.
🎖️ The Pat Conroy Literary Center will celebrate the 50th anniversary of “The Great Santini” on Tue., Oct. 27 at the Tara Theatre.
SPORTS
⛹🏼♀️ The Dream fell to the Valkyries 67-62 yesterday at a sold-out State Farm Arena. The WNBA Finals, now tied 2-2, moves to San Francisco for Game 5 tomorrow and returns to Atlanta for Game 6 on Thursday.
🏀 The Hawks dropped their home opener 121-114 to the Houston Rockets on Saturday, the team’s first loss of the season.
⚽ Chicago Fire beat Atlanta United 3-2 at Mercedes-Benz Stadium last night, further dimming the Five Stripes’ already slim playoff hopes.
⚾️ The Brewers took a 2-0 lead in the World Series after a 5-4 win over the Rays. The series shifts to Tropicana Field in St. Petersburg, FL on Monday.
🏈 In local college football action yesterday:
- Tarleton State 49, West Georgia 6
- Edward Waters 62, Clark Atlanta 14
- Boston College 49, Georgia Tech 27
- Arkansas State 38, Georgia State 32
- No. 5 Georgia, Mercer, Georgia Southern, and Morehouse were off this week.
🏈 The Atlanta Falcons (2-4) take on the NFC West-leading San Francisco 49ers (6-0) at the Benz at 1 p.m. (92.9 FM, Fox).
ELSEWHERE
⛪ The Archdiocese of New York agreed to pay $800 million to settle claims from about 1,300 clergy abuse survivors, potentially ending more than seven years of litigation.
➡ The police officer who shot and killed a 1-year-old boy in Mississippi when he fired into a moving vehicle while responding to a shoplifting call has resigned.
🇫🇷 French police arrested more than 1,300 people during Saturday’s cost-of-living protests, the country’s second straight weekend of unrest. At least 53 officers were hurt, and looters hit 24 shops.
🛍️ Shop local at the outdoor Midtown Artisan Market on select Sundays this fall at Midtown Green. Discover Atlanta makers offering handmade and vintage goods, plus food, community activities, and more. Oct. 25, Nov. 22 & Dec. 13, noon-6 p.m. Free admission. SPONSOR MESSAGE
How it began*
👾 Every reporter at the now-defunct Nashville Banner, where I started my journalism career, did a stint on the obituary beat, tethered to a desk with a phone that rang about 10 decibels louder than any other in the newsroom. Nearly every time the “death phone” rang, some cynic in the office would crack, “There goes another reader,” because, you know, back then, who read the afternoon paper? Very old people.
But I always tried to do my best writing, because, as one of my j-school professors once said, “What you write about these people may be the last time they are ever mentioned.” So I tried to give my subjects as much ink about their personal relationships as I did their professional accomplishments.
And after my time at the Banner ended, my obituary career turned into a macabre unpaid gig, starting in 1991-ish with a very polarizing former boss who was suffering from end-stage liver cancer. I was summoned to his house, given a special pen and pad, and ordered to sit next to him while he dictated every single word of his obituary, complete with punctuation suggestions.
Since then I have written obituaries for my grandmother, parents, friends, children of friends, strangers, public figures, and many others, striving to capture that person’s life accurately, while never saying the recently deceased “lit up the room every time they entered.” Because nobody does that. Searchlights do that.
Interesting side story: At the funeral of my former boss, the officiating pastor opened his remarks by saying, “Many of you have come to mourn Calvin’s passing [not his real name], and the rest of you are here to make sure he’s really dead.”
If you want an example of people who can turn an obituary into a banger, check out the one from Val Patterson, who authored his own – confessing to stealing a safe from a motel and admitting he lied about getting a PhD. Or this one, from the family of Dolores Aguilar, which is considered to be the most vicious obituary ever penned.
🐦🔥 *P.S. The Banner has come back in digital form with new ownership.
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Songs with a surprise twist
🌪️ Picture humming along to a song that fires up all those happy endorphins, only to realize that despite the lilting melodies, this song is straight up about death. Check these out:
🥶 Coldplay’s “Fix You,” which is not about a broken appliance, but a song written by frontman Chris Martin for his former partner Gwyneth Paltrow, as she mourned the death of her father.
🎸 Avett Brothers’ “No Hard Feelings,” a sweet melody that’s about dying without regrets. I took this picture when the group played that song at Truist Park in September.
🌉 “London Bridge is Falling Down,” all about the failings of the London Bridge, and its symbolism in English history. Throw in “Ring Around the Rosie,” long thought to be a song about the bubonic plague. Let’s forgive ourselves. We didn’t know.
🐜 Most of Dave Matthews’ concert playlist, including “Ants Marching.” I did not see that one coming.
➡️ Side note: Another Avett Brothers’ song, “I and Love and You,” should not be played at weddings. Consult the lyrics before you make this your first-dance song.
🪕 Misty Creek Community Church is hosting our Bluegrass & BBQ. Join us for a down-home Bluegrass-style worship service followed by a delicious BBQ lunch with all the fixins! All are welcome. Admission is free. Sun. Nov. 1 at 10:30 a.m. 590 Mt. Vernon Hwy NE. SPONSOR MESSAGE
We do have feelings
👿 Readers are, up to this point, probably thinking that journalists like me are jaded, unfeeling monsters who see an obituary as just another opportunity for a byline. Not really true. Here are a few stories from our archives where our hearts were on full display:
🪕 Collin Kelley’s beautiful tribute to Dolly Parton that includes his very personal connections to her quiet activism and self-deprecating humor.
🐕🦺 The untimely death of a hero, especially if it’s a dog, hits pretty hard.
🧒🏽 Young lives cut short by a health emergency or by their own hand are always hard to write about and more difficult to understand.
♻️ Bill Crane’s insightful column about global icon Ted Turner, who died in July, provides an interesting look at this complicated man.
🤝 The TOUR Championship is more than a week of great golf. Discover how Southern Company, alongside other Proud Partners and the surrounding community, is creating lasting impact, inspiring future generations, and making the championship one of Atlanta’s most meaningful summer traditions. SPONSOR MESSAGE
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