Real Housewives of Atlanta: Bad Medicine

By Brigette Flood and Sandy M. Tyler

People sometimes wonder why a seemingly sane and hard-working Kandi would want to be one of Atlanta’s Housewives. But time and time again she shows us, including on the latest episode when she throws herself a birthday party at her clothing store TAGS, that she’s all about the business. In an era where even the wrong exposure can be profitable, Kandi uses the show to her advantage and capitalizes on the opportunities it provides to showcase her music, webisodes, store, and even grievances with Kim. The other housewives join Kandi at her birthday celebration – including Lisa Wu Hartwell, housewife from seasons past. Shereé couldn’t help but take a jab at Kandi’s selection of inventory given her fashion “expertise.” Too bad Kandi nor Sheree dressed Kim for her appearance at TAGS, where she came dressed as foul-mouthed, fishnet-wearing, Cheetah Lounge Barbie.

Perhaps in preparation for her future Apprentice career with Donald Trump, we see NeNe approach Atlanta’s Channel 11 about becoming an entertainment correspondent at the station. In a meeting with station honchos and Anchor Karyn Greer, the staff first tells NeNe to tone down her behavior when she’s on camera and then jumps at the chance to secure interviews with the celebrities NeNe can access. We’re excited to see the people on NeNe’s initial list of interviewees: Tyler Perry, Jermaine Dupri, Ludacris, Monique and more. In the small pond of ATL, NeNe is a celebrity, and she plans to make another big splash, bringing a business focus to her social self. If her Channel 11 segments air at 6 am like the commercials indicate, we hope there’s a recap to review. (Hooray for recaps and the people who write them.)

Despite Shereé’s comments that inviting Dr. Tiy-E to her home this early in their, ahem, relationship is a big deal, we all know that if you’re a woman and you’re perfectly comfortable answering the door in curlers and a robe when your date arrives, it’s pretty clear you’re not very interested in your date. At least she can put him to work setting up tables for the card game. Little does Dr. Tiy-E know the evening is not going to be all fun and games for him.

Shereé seems genuinely excited to host a game night at her house for the other Housewives. At the get-together, not a lot of cards get played but two games of charades are brought to an end: 1) Phaedra’s early delivery and 2) the truth about Dr. Tiy-E’s “doctorate.” Kandi confirms the news of Phaedra’s full-term delivery to the group. They shriek at the news, just like we did, even though it’s not a surprise to anyone – other than Phaedra’s mom. More about that below.

And Dr. Tiy-E, well, he got questions in spades. When they’re introduced, NeNe instantly recognizes him, and not in a good way. NeNe mentions her previous knowledge of the Love Doctor and informs Shereé about the scandal regarding his credentials. Eventually all the guests catch wind of this topic and together they inquire, grill, question and tease Dr. Tiy-E to try and find out the truth.

Not surprisingly, Dr. Tiy-E is as skilled at dodging questions as he is straight-up dodgy. In the end, Tiy-E can’t convince anyone his doctor status is merited. We understand “Love Medical Assistant” isn’t quite as catchy on brochures, TV and radio, and we imagine that Tiy-E is still plenty of credits shy even to be called that.

With a cast like this, it’s pretty remarkable if a new cast member can take the top spot as the crazy one in her first season, but it’s official, Phaedra is the craziest housewife of them all. We’re also thinking that in addition to laying down the law of no children before marriage the Reverend Bell told Phaedra she came out of a cabbage patch because Phaedra’s understanding of gestation and child birth is jaw-droppingly lacking.

Phaedra and Apollo travel to Augusta, so that Phaedra’s friend Dr. Lue can deliver her baby, and also perhaps so they can continue to escape the details of their actual due date. Phaedra still maintains that she’s delivering her baby weeks early and when she checks into the hospital and the nurse in admission asks her how far along she is, she claims not to know. She just didn’t keep up with those things. (Or read any baby books either, obviously.)

In front of a visiting Kandi, who did her duty to the show by going to see Phaedra in the hospital, Dr. Lue confirms what we ALL know to be true just by looking at her: Phaedra is indeed 40 weeks into her pregnancy. The cut-aways to the expressions on Phaedra’s mom’s face explain a lot about the lies, the extent of which would have inspired a drinking game were we not blogging on a Sunday.

Phaedra is nervous about the actual childbirth and her lack of control during the process, which is common with new mothers, but her belief that delivery brings a woman so close to death in such a controlled situation certainly keeps up the bizarre tone of the whole thing. Despite a long labor and seemingly painful C-Section, she gives birth to a healthy and absolutely adorable son. It was a momentous occasion indeed and despite a little blood and a whole lot of crazy, beautiful, too.

There must be something in the water coming out of the Hooch here in Atlanta. We’ll be on baby watch again next season when Kim Zolciak delivers her little Falcon courtesy of Kroy Biermann, whose butt she admired in last week’s episode and has been dating for six months. Try as he might, Andy Cohen couldn’t get Kim to admit the big news on last night’s live after-show (where she also “sang” her new single “Google Me”), but this morning Life & Style magazine had the news on the cover complete with baby bump photos. Andy should know by now that Kim doesn’t give anything away for free.