Real Housewives of Atlanta: Diva Las Vegas

By Collin Kelley
Editor

In tonight’s episode, Nene gets her revenge on the housewives showing up three hours late for dinner last week by forcing them to take an eight hour bus trip to Las Vegas while she flies first class. Ha! The ladies are still on the west coast for a “girls’ weekend” and have decided to go to Vegas to gamble, shop and make it rain on strippers.

On the party bus, Kenya declares herself  “captain” and decides they need to play games, including imitating each other and x-rated stand up comedy. It looks like hell. Meanwhile, Nene is already in her palatial suite at Planet Hollywood and having a good laugh at the other housewives’ expense.

Phaedra wants to go to Crazy Horse and see all the naked ladies, but Porsha freaks out because her husband, Kordell, doesn’t want her to because it’s not proper or Christian. “Papa Kordell didn’t sign Porsha’s permission slip to go on the field trip,” Kenya laughs.

Once at the Crazy Horse, Kenya is throwing dollar bills at the ladies, while Phaedra – who never met a stripper she didn’t like – is getting a little too close to the lady business area for Nene’s liking. “I thought Phaedra was goinna take a bite out of hello kitty,” Nene says. While at the club, Nene opens up about working as a stripper in the past and how Gregg wanted her to stop, but she wouldn’t until they were married. “I had a couple of strippers as my bridesmaids,” she laughs.

All the housewives are concerned Porsha isn’t living her own life because Kordell is controlling her. Nene wants Porsha to fight for her independence, but Porsha once again pulls the religion card, which doesn’t sit well with Phaedra. “Don’t pull that Christian stuff with me. I’m a preacher’s daughter,” Phaedra says. When Porsha says Kordell is just a “traditional” man, Nene is having none of it. “There’s a difference between traditional and controlling,” Nene tells her. “And this sounds like some old, traditional bullish*t to me.”  When Porsha slips and says Kordell “let her” come on the West Coast trip, the girls have heard all they need to hear, but Porsha refuses to budge. “They’re all older, and I respect their opinion, but they need to stay in their lane.”

Nene takes the ladies to the Jubilee Theatre to meet showgirls and try on some of the costumes. Kenya makes a fool of herself, exposing her breasts and laughing like a crazy woman. “I guess Porsha got to see a stripper after all,” Kenya says with a maniacal gleam in her eye. Later, the ladies go shopping and Kandi is trying on diamond engagement rings, although Nene rolls her eyes at the $7,500 one Kandi likes the most. Don’t forget that Nene is a very rich bitch and lives in the Hollywood Hills, so $7,500 is pocket lint to her.

Back at the Planet Hollywood suite, Kandi says she’s expanding her Kandi Coated Nights empire with home parties and desserts. “It’s a tupperware party for sex toys,” she says. Kandi jokingly gives Porsha a home pregnancy test – since Porsha has been hinting about being knocked up the entire episode – but Porsha won’t do it and says it’s something she should do at home with her husband.

As they are playing some game to see who can take the sexiest bite out of a chocolate covered strawberry, Phaedra makes a nasty swipe at Kenya’s skills saying they obviously weren’t good enough to keep Walter around. “Here comes Phaedra rocking the boat again,” Nene says in a cutaway, forgetting that she has been the ultimate boat rocker in seasons’ past. Nene’s newly found wisdom and clarity this season has been far more interesting than any of Kenya’s crazy reindeer games.

So Phaedra’s dig leads to yet another rehashing of the whole workout video thing, Kenya showing up dressed like a Grey Gardens reject to mock Phaedra at the fundraising event and Phaedra telling everyone that Kenya is nuts. They yell for five minutes, but won’t apologize to each other. Kenya says an apology from Phaedra would be an empty gesture, so they once again retreat to their corners and the ever wise Nene sums it up: “These bitches will never be friends.”