I came out to my parents when I was 17. When I came home a little later than usual from school and my mom asked where I’d been, I casually and calmly said, “With my boyfriend.” I didn’t give it a lot of thought, nor did I feel any anxiety about it. I remember being happy and feeling cute, summer break was coming, and rather than give the usual “I was with friends” or “I’m working on a project,” I just let the truth out.
My mother’s brother was gay and they were very close, so I knew she wasn’t going to freak out. My dad had already figured me out two years before when he nonchalantly mentioned how I was always on the phone or hanging out with my boyfriend. Later, when my uncle’s partner was diagnosed with HIV and couldn’t find work, my dad gave him a job.
It would be years before I understood just how lucky I was to have understanding parents in the South in the 1980s at the height of the AIDS crisis. There was also an inordinate amount of LGBTQ students and teachers at my high school – again this is the South in the 80s – so I was never subjected to horrible bullying.
While I was on my personal journey, I was very aware of the fearmongering, homophobia, and politicians eager to exploit and “other” an already marginalized community. I I will never forgive Ronald Reagan and his disgraceful handling of the AIDS crisis.
I marched in my first Atlanta Pride Parade in 1989 and would continue to do so for many years after. I also made incredible friends – many who did not have my relatively charmed childhood – who enlightened me about the need for activism. I protested outside a Cracker Barrel, I protested at AIDS rallies, and I have stood outside the State Capitol in all kinds of weather holding signs.
And I’ve written editorials like this far too often.
We are deep into another season of fearmongering, othering, homophobia, and transphobia that makes the 70s and 80s look tame by comparison. Social media has amped up the rhetoric, disinformation, and shameful behavior of public figures and politicians who seem to take glee in their bigotry.
This year’s theme for the Atlanta Pride Festival and Parade is “Show Up & Show Out.” Never has that call to action been more necessary. There must be a loud counteraction to the hate being used as a wedge issue in local and national politics, and also emboldening people to act like fools – online and in public.
I urge you – once again – to reject hate and ignorance. Drag queens and the trans community are not grooming children, attempting to thwart the human and civil rights of others is fascism, and democracy is always preferable to theocracy, despite the machinations of some leaders whose flexible morals have been on full display the last few months.
Happy Pride!
For more about National Coming Out Day, visit this link.
