As a parent to three young kids, entrepreneur Juliette Blake has seen firsthand how quickly children are exposed to technology once they enter school.
That’s why she created Moxies, a dedicated social media platform for tween girls. With age-appropriate content and built-in safeguards, it gives children a structured introduction to social media and helps them build healthy digital habits early.
“Technology is not going away,” said Jeremy Salzman, Psy.D., clinical director and founder of Intown Psychology. “The task is to introduce it deliberately, teach young people to use it responsibly, and create boundaries before unhealthy patterns become established.”
Assessing individual readiness
Research shows that more than three hours a day of social media use is associated with increased symptoms of anxiety and depression. For teen girls, social media is more likely to negatively impact their mental health, confidence, and sleep.
Experts like Salzman agree that when used in age-appropriate and intentional ways, digital platforms can also foster social connections and learning. And even for young children, smartphones have become a practical necessity.
“Parents often cite safety as the primary reason for providing a smartphone [to their kids],” Salzman said.
But needing to reach a trusted adult during an emergency does not necessarily mean a smartphone with all the bells and whistles is the right choice.
“For some families, a basic phone or limited-function watch can meet the communication need without providing unrestricted internet and social media access,” Salzman said.
Rather than rely on an arbitrary birthday, he recommends that caregivers assess an individual child’s maturity before handing them a digital device. Kids with ADHD, anxiety, autism, or other developmental or learning differences may also need to be on a different timeline.
As a general rule, he says parents of elementary school-aged children should prioritize shared and supervised devices with high-quality content. In middle school, a basic phone or a smartphone with strong privacy settings, time limits, and adult coaching are key. By the time children reach high school, adults should help them practice responsible autonomy.
“You can expand their privileges gradually, while continuing to have conversations about sleep, attention, relationships, privacy, digital reputation, and asking for help,” Salzman said.
Modeling healthy digital habits
Salzman says it is critical for parents and caregivers to model healthy digital habits for young people.
“Children notice when adults check phones during meals, conversations, driving, or family activities,” he said.
He recommends establishing designated “downtime” from devices and keeping them out of children’s bedrooms.
Families can also work together to build a technology agreement to set clear parameters and expectations for digital devices. This agreement can cover when and how often devices can be used, any platforms or purchases that require parental permission, and rules for safe online behavior.
“Back to school is a really wonderful time to set ground rules from the start, think about your plan as a family, and really ensure your child is part of the conversation and understands the reasoning behind certain decisions when it comes to technology,” Blake said.
Managing safety and teaching digital literacy
Parents should ensure proper safeguards are in place when children are accessing the internet and smartphones.
Salzman recommends using the strongest age-appropriate privacy settings available. That could include activating content filters, limiting public profiles and direct messaging, and deactivating location sharing and personalized advertising.
“When they’re asking for a device, one of the very first things girls want is to talk to their friends,” Blake said. “Parents are consistently faced with, ‘well, I don’t want to let my daughter in that group chat, or on WhatsApp, or on Snap or Roblox or Instagram or TikTok, but I also don’t want her to miss out on these key social moments,’” she continued.
On Moxies, parents create all of the chat groups, so any interactions girls have are limited to real-life peers like their classmates.
The app’s real-time chat moderation filters unkind messages, sending an automatic prompt for editing before resending. Chat features shut off for all users between 8 p.m. and 7:30 a.m., so girls can’t engage or scroll after hours.
But those parameters go hand-in-hand with teaching digital literacy.
“Young people need skills, not just restrictions,” Salzman said. “Teach them that online behavior has real-world consequences and discuss respectful communication, consent before posting others, how algorithms shape attention and exposure, and other issues.”
Using critical thinking is especially important in the age of generative AI.
“Encourage children to pause, check the original source, compare reliable sources, look for manipulation, and ask a trusted adult when content creates urgency, fear, secrecy, or pressure,” he said.
Moxies’ format includes quests built around self-esteem and digital literacy, including distinguishing between human- and AI-generated content.
Ultimately, smartphones and digital communities are here to stay.
“The goal is not to raise children who avoid technology; it is to raise children who can use technology without allowing it to control their attention, sleep, relationships, curiosity, judgment, or mental health,” Salzman said.
