Real Housewives of Atlanta: Dancing with the stars?

By Brigette Flood and Sandy M. Tyler

Persuasive Peter popped a passionate proposal in public this week. He finally asked Cynthia to marry him in front of a small, intimate gathering of friends … and the Bravo camera crew.  Peter’s not just good looking; he’s an evil genius. His public proposal makes it harder for Cynthia to run away, which we assume was factored into his plan. While NeNe criticizes Cynthia’s lack of emotion, who wouldn’t be bashful in front of a roomful of people? It’s a private moment, and it’s unsurprising that marriage-shy Cynthia wasn’t ready to share her excitement with the world.

The proposal is followed by wedding dress shopping for Cynthia with mother Barbara and sister Malorie, and their discussion reveals underlying factors that are probably 99.4 percent the cause of Cynthia’s fears about marriage. Her mother’s second marriage was abusive, and she felt unable to leave it. Cynthia and her sister watched the relationship over the years, and when Cynthia stepped in to break up a physically abusive altercation, she ended up getting kicked out of the house. Cynthia doesn’t want a man to have that kind of control over her. We get this, and give her license to be overwhelmed.

There’s a lot at stake with the upcoming nuptials, however. Neither Malorie nor Barbara had weddings of their own, so their excitement about planning Cynthia’s big day is understandable. And yes to both questions Cynthia asks, “Does this dress look great on me? Or do I just make this dress look great?” You were made to wear clothes. And as a high fashion model, clothes were made to be worn by you. Enjoy!

We’ve all heard of “pregnancy brain”, but Phaedra’s bizarre ramblings about her impending delivery are inexplicable.  She seems to know nothing about caring for an infant that doesn’t involve wives tales from mythological times and has decided to rely on the expertise of her friends, so she can concentrate on spoiling herself.  As selfish as this may sound, it’s probably a good thing for the baby.  Does this woman really have a law degree and a successful practice because she seems shockingly clueless?  A law degree requires extensive study before you can pass the bar; too bad motherhood doesn’t require the same.

At Kim’s house, we see her youngest daughter’s newly decorated room – we were sad there were no pictures of chicken or baseball chairs in sight – and Kim’s new office, which is covered in pictures of Kim’s favorite thing . . . Kim.  No need to get defensive Kim, we wouldn’t expect anything else.  Even your Dad put it best when seeing the room for the first time, “I love me!”  If I we had that much Photoshop work done on our snaps, we’d be obsessed with our pictures, too.

Something else to be obsessed about: having 2,000 square feet of space to yourself, like Kim’s oldest daughter, Brielle. Neither of one us are lucky enough to enjoy that much space, and we’re considerably older than Brielle. (Not that we’re saying how old.) We’re almost more incredulous about that than the $60,000 Kim spent redoing her 9-year-old’s bedroom. Seriously, unless you’re Mariah Carey or J. Lo, nothing that costs $60K should be pink.

Here’s something our collective experience has taught us – you immediately make yourself C-List if you do a knock-off version of something else popular.  Case in point:  Dancing “Stars” of Atlanta.  Shereé, the Atlanta Housewife who admits she has no rhythm and is a white girl (Bristol Palin?) on the dance floor, has committed to performing at the event to raise money for the Alzheimer’s Association.

We have to admit, we actually feel ripped off by the lack of rehearsal footage. We hope Bravo didn’t leave any “funny” on the cutting room floor. The final event is held Intown at Puritan Mill, and it’s all a little low-brow with spectators eating a multi-course meal while the performers hit the dance floor.  Kim get’s an eyeful of future boyfriend Kroy Beirmann’s physical assets, and we get to see her technique for picking up men.  It’s just as expected and surprisingly successful.  Nothing about Kim leaves anything to the imagination.

The most low-brow part of the event, however, has got to be the other Housewives lack of financial support for Shereé’s endeavor. It was beyond tacky, and Kandi was right to call everyone out.  Despite a nice bit of editing by Bravo of Housewife reactions, we give Shereé kudos for pushing beyond her comfort zone, and even in a recession, we would have been more than happy to at least cover the cost of our meal.

We have to end this post with an open plea to Andy Cohen, Bravo’s executive producer.  Andy, no matter how you spin it on the after-show, this season is turning into a total snore.  Is this the recession season – no trips out of town, no wig pulling in nice restaurants, no Big Poppa shopping sprees?  Sure we saw Shereé with an expensive new car in this week’s show, but fancy cars are easy enough to lease.  Help us out Andy, we need the ladies to go on a big trip or something.  Enough with everyone gathering at their houses like the rest of us. You know the footage would be worth the price. Picture NeNe on a yacht, Shereé at Turtle Time, or Kim in Vegas, the home of Cher.  This can’t be because Phaedra is pregnant; she’s made it clear that she can have that baby whenever she feels like it. It’s time to add some excitement, Andy! Because sometimes, it’s more fun to watch what happens out on the town.