Celebrity Apprentice: Video killed the radio star

By Collin Kelley
Editor

NeNe Leakes was front and center in last night’s episode of Celebrity Apprentice as project manager for team ASAP. The challenge was to create and direct a video for telecommunications company, ACN. Specifically, the teams had to showcase ACN’s new video phone, which seemed oddly archaic in the age of iPhone, Skype, etc. But, hey, it’s for charity and ACN coughed up $20,000 clams for it’s two-hour infomercial.

The ladies took ACN’s direction to heart and decided to create a commercial that spoke to the company’s motto of connecting people. “I’ve always wanted to be behind the camera,” NeNe said, and proved to be a capable project manager. She delegated tasks, helped create the storyline and seemed pretty adept at screaming “quiet on the set.” Simmering in the background, however, was La Toya Jackson (who NeNe banished to keeping time on a cell phone after she complained her eyes were blurry) and lazy, attitude-filled diva Dionne Warwick.

The commercial created by ASAP featured an exchange student in Paris calling her parents back in America, with Marlee Matlin playing the deaf mom using sign language to communicate with her daughter. The commercial was nearly ruined by the wooden acting of the extras, especially the manic father, who used his hands more than Marlee.

Over in the men’s war room, Lil Jon was named project manager for Backbone and decided to create a funny commercial where parents receive the ACN phone from their son living in South America. The parents call him up to meet his new fiance, which turns out to be a mincing Jose Canseco. The whole banter back and forth on the Backbone team about gay men was a little demeaning and while Conseco was a good sport, he worried about what his fans and father would say about him playing gay. This from the guy who had no trouble getting into a dress a few weeks ago. Country singer John Rich could barely contain his distaste for the commercial.

Once the videos were completed, the teams went to an editing bay and that’s where Dionne made her fatal error. She decided her work was done and told NeNe she was going back to the suite to sleep. “I need to lay down,” Dionne said. “They don’t need me.”

ACN employees voted on their favorite commercial and the guys won by the tiniest margin. NeNe went to pieces in the boardroom, crying about how proud she was of her video and that she really wanted to win for her charity, which helps abused women. NeNe said she’d been in an abusive relationship for five years. The women seemed cohesive and strong… until they lost.

NeNe pounced on La Toya for being weak and Dionne for being lazy and leaving the editing bay before the task was done. “I’m the project manager, not the babysitter,” NeNe said. “You’re a grown woman.” Dionne argued that she had asked NeNe if it was okay to leave and NeNe had said yes. Which was a lie.

When The Donald started quizzing the women on who should be fired, Dionne’s name came up the most. When Donald asked Dionne who she would fire, she said, “I’d go along with the rest of the team and fire me.” And that’s exactly what he did.

NeNe tried to make peace after the firing, but Dionne brought her claws and said, “You’re a coward, baby.” Don’t let the door hit you in the ass on the way out, Dionne. The Donald was right: Dionne has a big chip on her shoulder. She won’t be missed.

This was the third loss for team ASAP, which was shocking since there’s so much crazy on the men’s team. In the trailer for next week, it appears Meat Loaf and Gary Busey are on the verge of murdering each other.